Personally

Personally I think that this photograph of 9/11 had the most impact on me out of all of the pictures that I have seen. This one is especially memorable because it depicts the real people who were involved, which is harder to detach yourself from.

Iconic Image

I think that the image of the second plane about to hit is the most iconic image of 9/11. It seems to be the most reproduced, and I think I remember that it was published on the front page of the Richmond Times the next day. I saw this image as it happened live on TV - it was the moment of realization that what this was an attack and not just an accident. It was a moment of pure dread and disbelief and I know that terror is a totally overused "buzz" word but honestly it best describes my feeling at this instant. 

I was in 3rd period English class and we were about to watch a video. The TV was on channel 12 when the teacher turned it on to put in the VHS so we all caught a glimpse of the news alert. At this point only one tower had been hit, so some kids started making jokes about how the pilot must have been like 70 or blind or something - really irreverent comments. And then the second plane comes in from the corner of the screen and the classroom went dead silent. We watched the second plane hit and then the live coverage as the other plane crashed into the pentagon. The only thing anyone said was "this is really happening" which was important for me at the time because I think I was just watching the TV like it was a movie. I had to keep reminding myself that these were real people dying because I was just so shocked nothing had really sunk in yet.

At the same time our principal was in the process of distributing letters to all of the teachers explaining what had happened and not to tell any of the students yet. When she came into our room she quickly shut the door behind her and watched the news with us. Then she and our teacher talked about what they were going to do with our class, because we were obviously like completely mortified and they assumed we would go out and tell the rest of the school that America was under attack and everything would erupt into chaos. A few more teachers came in to watch the news, then they made all of us students go to our next period, and soon the word got out. Not a lot of people seemed to even care - I think it was impossible to impress upon any child or teen the seriousness of the occurrence without showing them the actual footage of the attacks. 

I didn't know that the buildings had fallen down until I got home from school and turned on the news in my living room. My family lives in New Jersey and New York, and it was impossible to reach anyone by phone. I started sending e-mails to my loved ones. I even sent one to this boy that I had met in Jersey City that summer to see if his family was OK and if he got to see any of this happen. From there were started corresponding first over e-mail, then IM, then by phone by the end of that day. The one good thing that came of all the chaos is that it gave me a reason to contact this person whom I would have never otherwise tried to speak to again. To this day he is one of my dearest friends. 

One time he showed me where he stood on the street in downtown Jersey City and watched the towers fall. Now whenever 9/11 is mentioned the first thing that comes to mind is an image of the towers falling down from across the bay.

self-portrait

This self-portrait illustrates a very specific time and place that is not apparent to the viewer without explanation but is very significant and unforgettable to me. I captured this photograph in the middle of the night on a train between the Netherlands and Germany last summer (2008) when backpacking across Europe with my brother from Amsterdam to Bucharest, where my dad lived at the time. I took quite a few pictures while traveling, but very few with our faces in them. I really like to see our expressions after so many hours of travel with minimal sleep and confusion over changing languages and completely unexpected occurrences. 

photo from lecture

Dorothea Lange's photograph of the bread line during the great depression stirs up a lot of emotions for me at a few different levels. I have seen this picture countless times in  photo history classes that i have taken and recently in a news article about America's current economic crisis, and each time it generates a slightly different reaction. The first time I remember seeing it was in high school, where I focused mainly on the contrasting skin color of the people on the billboard and the people in the line. I also remember thinking how far we have come from that era when race was such an apparent issue and America was in terrible economic distress. And now we are again in a time when race and economic crisis are in the forefront of topics in our country. The way that this photograph can transcend over decades and still draw attention and emotion is truly remarkable.

I also have a very personal reaction to this photograph because I am a part of a white family of four with a dog (little brother and a beagle). It makes me almost ashamed of it. Even in class it was brought up that the billboard was a misrepresentation of the perfect family and that no family in America actually looks like this, but mine does. However, in the late 1930's my peasant grandparents had just arrived in America from Poland and were in no way living the life that the billboard illustrates. So even though my family may look like white rich wasps from the outside, around the time this picture was taken they were going through the same struggle that the people in the bread line were. 

project proposal?

I am still on the fence about whether or not to commit to my project proposal that I discussed in class on Monday. Though I have been leaning towards researching women's roles (or lack thereof) in the Catholic church, I brought up the idea of examining the predominant lesbian culture in women's rugby, thinking that I would have better access to that subject. I think that women's rugby would be much easier to research given that I know many players personally and am a member of a team myself, but I do not know if my whole heart is in that project.

I have always had a strong interest in religion and spirituality, and even though I do not necessarily agree with everything that the Roman Catholic church teaches I feel that I have a deep connection to it because of how I was raised. Only after I stopped going to mass during college did I even take time to reflect and realize how the lack of women's roles as leaders in the church may have effected me. Not only is it archaic and extremely unfair to women who long to play serious roles in the church, I feel like exposing both young females and males to such strong patriarchic figures can misguide their development (like sexual, social and inquisitive skills).

I would like to narrow down this idea a little more and keep comparing my resources before I fully commit to a research subject. I would appreciate feedback!

my living space

I live in a three bedroom house that I share with roommates. My personal living space is small but comfortable and includes a bed, one dresser, a small wooden desk for a work area, and four rather large, black funnel-like "shelves" mounted on the wall that hold clothes. I think that my room conveys my laid back attitude because of the posters and tapestries as curtains. That along with the cheap/unique ikea shelves also reflects my age and occupation - 22 year old college student. 

Fratire

Attitude

Bisexuality and public perception

Not only is there little know scientifically about bisexuality, there is not a significant, popular bisexual community or culture visible in America. There is also a lot of social stigma surrounding bisexuality – many people associate bisexuals with homosexuals, and want to label them as queer and against the grain of social norms. Likewise, much of the time bisexuality is lumped together within the category of homosexuality when being observed scientifically, instead of being researched as an independent issue. Public perceptions of bisexuality are skewed, and lack of information, education, and even a well-defined label, have lead to prejudice and discrimination.

Influences:

A few of my friends are bisexual

A few of my friends have no conception of what bisexuality really is

Noticing the differences in society accepting female bisexuals versus male bisexuals

Observing females proclaiming bisexuality as a stunt to get attention

Knowing males who cannot admit to being bisexual because of fear of humiliation

My instincts tell my that bisexuality is genetic

Bisexual relationships were considered normal in ancient Rome

Freud believed that humans are born bisexual, and preference emerges from early experiences of love and sensation

Knowledge of Kinsey’s sex studies that concluded that most humans are bisexual

The first time I ever heard the word bisexual was when I learned about how the AIDS virus was spread

Bisexuality is an orientation that is separate from heterosexuality and homosexuality, and as a third orientation, is a product of both biology and culture. Many people assume that bisexuals are just sex-crazed people that give into any and every temptation and desire and who carry on multiple relationships with both sexes simultaneously. It is a big issue just labeling and identifying oneself as a bisexual, especially when partaking in monogamous relationships. Society labels a person gay if they are in a same-sex relationship and straight if they are in an opposite-sex relationship – bisexuality is normally publicized on a need-to-know basis, which hinders these people from participating in organizations or having a strong collective voice (like the gay community.)